Troll In A Miniskirt!
by Evangelina Amaryllis
Summary: Just something I wrote for a friend. Rated T for very mildly suggestive content. Naturally, I own nothing. Kayla belongs to my friend.


Kayla shuffled into Roy Mustang's office nervously. He had called for her, and it was her first day. She was afraid of being in trouble. Actually, you know what? That's kinda cliché, so scratch that. She was pissed off because the colonel was famous for his sexual advances on girls wearing miniskirts, and guess what? She was wearing one. "Kayla..." He murmured as he eyed her up. That pissed her off even more. Think of Shizuo Heiwajima trying to remain calm around Izaya Orihara from Durarara, and you've got your mental image. Anyways, Kayla pulled her sunglasses off and looked at him.  
"That's my name." She muttered.

"Speak up; what's your _title_?" He asked; fairly innocent question, right?

"Bladed Flame." She replied dryly, noticing that his gaze had lingered on her skirt, which made her angrier than she already was.

"_Bladed_ Flame? So they just chuck a word in front of mine and it's automatically yours?" Roy was the one starting to get pissed.

"Oh, shut up; it isn't like you're any good at anything but procrastinating and staring at my skirt." She snapped. That sure made him crack, right? Wrong. Or at least, he cracked, but he couldn't do much to her. He snapped his gloved fingers, making a small fireball shoot itself at her. She very easily stopped it, making it go back at him and lightly singe his cheek.

"Agh!" He yelled out in pain, clutching his red face.

"What do you want from me, Mustang?" She demanded casually.

"Nothing; just get outta here." He growled.  
"Nope; I think I wanna watch you yell out in pain a little bit longer."

"I said get outta here!" He yelled, standing up and clutching his face with one hand, using the other to throw his paperwork off the desk because that's dramatic.

"Whatever; you're no fun." She rolled her eyes and turned, walking out smugly.

Since I'm almost half-way through this thing, I guess I should introduce Kayla. She's young, pretty cool, but lame at the same time. She's derpy, but in that awesome person way that makes you not wanna punch her - most of the time. But even when you wanna punch her, it's in that cool playful way that's gonna make her punch you back and you'll both be laughing about it in the hospital together. Either that, or you'll just wanna smash each other's heads in – you and your luck. Oh, and she has a bad habit of overusing the word 'so' when she's either depressed or sleepy – you can take a fair guess as to which it is based on the rest of her speech, unless you're one of those pricks who don't read the full sentence and just read the first word then explode into an eruption of useless speech that only makes you look like a douche; in which case, please stop reading my work and get out. Thank you kindly.

Back to the story, because I have a word limit. Kayla skipped around headquarters; she'd passed the State Alchemy exam two days beforehand and today was her first day at work. She didn't know whether or not she'd get in trouble for burning the famous – or infamous – Roy Mustang's face, but she sure as hell knew it was fun, and she wanted to troll him further. She returned home, ate and slept, just like any other human being. The next morning, she got up and opted for an even shorter miniskirt for the sole reason of messing with the raven-haired Flame Alchemist. She skipped to work, greeting Hughes and Hawkeye cheerfully before walking into her target's office, pretending to be checking for jobs, but she only wanted to see his face. "Good morning, Kayla." Roy greeted, a small smirk on his face.

"Morning, Mustang. How's that burn?" She replied casually, grinning at the red mark on his face. He went silent and just looked aside. She walked to him and lightly pecked the mark, making his eyes widen from the sudden pain, and the fact that she'd do that. "Did that hurt?" She asked. He sighed and grabbed her arm.  
"Kayla, do you really wanna mess with me?" He leaned his face closer to hers, making her blush lightly. She's a girl, you idiot of a reader; she's gonna blush.

"Naturally." She answered as calmly as she could.

"Well I'm gonna mess with you." He pressed his lips onto hers, because he's the kind of creep to kiss a girl on the second day of meeting her.

Kayla shoved him away, but not after kissing him back thoroughly. Roy let her walk away, but he knew she'd come back. Eventually, they got together, got married, had sex and had kids. Except, you know, the whole miniskirt thing got passed on to their son, and their daughter grew up saying one line more than any other, that one famous Vic Mignogna once said: "Roy Mustang looks dead sexy in a miniskirt!"


End file.
